SANTA Responds To 22-Point Buck Story From A Broadway's Backyard Listener

December 1, 2017
Cheryl from Pittsburgh (or should we say Kris Kringle's Press Secretary) called Broadway's Backyard this morning to share a press release from SANTA! Santa caught wind of the 22-point buck story from all the way in the North Pole, and he wanted to "put the matter to rest." I think we finally found the missing piece to the puzzle! In regard to recent events leading to the 22-point buck controversy, Santa himself would like to put this matter to rest. Although his sleigh was originally pulled by reindeer in days gone by, Santa staff determined some years ago that, due to the increasing number of children in the world, working with elk would help making his yearly deliveries much more efficient. Because their diet of oats and vegetables includes a special powder that enables them to fly, despite their larger size and strength, they typically weigh-in much "lighter" than most other deer. As you know, rutting season occurs at this time of year, and the milder weather we've been experiencing has actually extended the season. Dasher Junior, eldest son of one of Santa's team, has been (to put it delicately) "feeling his oats" in recent weeks, and after gorging himself with special powder, flew south for the season to prowl the forests for a mate. During his reconnaissance, Jr had an encounter with Kelly and Lucas which resulted in him being knocked unconscious and subsequently "winched" out of the woods. (Although Santa's team is virtually indestructible, overindulging in magic powder has been known to cause drowsiness in some individuals) On regaining consciousness a short time later, he found himself in the back of their pickup truck. Realizing the precariousness of his situation, he immediately DASHED home to the North Pole. Dasher Junior regrets his shameful behavior and would like to apologize to Kelly and Lucas, and anyone who, like Clark, may have lost sleep as a result and for any distress that he may have directly or indirectly caused them. He feels very fortunate that Kelly and Lucas were in a hurry that day and will continue to wear Lucas' tag as a constant reminder to never step hoof in the woods south of his home again! Santa would like to assure all of the good boys and girls around the world (and Lucas) that no member of his team was injured in the incident, and that they are all safe and sound at home preparing for their upcoming marathon journey. Thank you, and have a VERY MERRY Christmas! C. Campbell Press Secretary to S. Claus; SWPA Office Too funny! Thank you, Cheryl, for having some fun with this and for taking the time to create this!